....................................  thought she was kiddin' me.  Thought she was winding me up to see whether I've got the ball to stop her.  I thought it wasn't true and I didn't want to believe it.  It's hard to believe it.  She kept banging on and on about shifting her arse to somewhere else.  But I haven't got a clue about the whole situation.  The situation where she couldn't be arsed to stay longer to serve her sweat and blood. We're not elated anymore being there.  It's really get on our nerve seeing people bossing around right under our noses.  Everything has changed ever since the colony sets their foot on our territory.  The regime hasn't worked on us.  They're doin' jack, we're doing a lot of shit.  We feel like we've been pushed to the back door.  Sometimes we are like little androids waiting for orders and being grounded in an awful cellar.  And it's not the same anymore.  I thought she's alrite with it.  She gets on well with everything.  How do I know if she can't take it anymore? But one thing's for sure we always moan to each other about stoooffs. She told me again on Wednesday about the letter where she didn't mention it before.   She said I could see it if I wanted to.  But my mind was somewhere else.  I didn't take it seriously and all I could response was, "Are you having a giraffe again?".   Well apparently she wasn't!   I was asked what she liked and I said elephant.  "Where I'm gonna find elephant then?".  I couldn't be arsed to answer that fookin' question at that time!  If you try and look for it course you gonna find it!!!!! Tell you what, because of you LOT she's leaving!!!!  Well there's no flemmin' point of sayin' it now eh.  She's leaving and nuthing I could do about it.  I wouldn't thank you for that!!!  Shove it!!! I wished I could spend the whole day at home without a crappy farewell.  All I could ask for was a decent farewell where we could say a few words.  But she said they're gonna send her home early.  And she said, ah you've got 25 minutes before I shoot off.  But where the hell we could possibly have a natter in sooch a short time?  Ridonkeylous!!  The tension was growing and I had to come to the end to face the music.  I wasn't feelin' sad but I could feel my tear ducts were active to cause a symptom where my eyes would fill with water.  And the army of water would flow in seconds if I broke the softie fortress.  I could feel my eyes were really sore, they were a bit fuzzy but I tried to remain calm..... A few minutes later I heard a squeaky noise from the door.  I could clearly hear footsteps coming towards me.  There was a silence between us and it went off in a jiffy.  I tried not to show what I've got underneath my bottom eye lids and her tear ducts were ready to kick off.  She couldn't hold it and neither could I.  She grabbed the moment to embrace me and whispered, "Thanks for being a good friend. You know where I am if you need me".   She's gone before I knew it.  I eventually wept silently. She's left and all I could do was wiped my tears away with the back of me hands.  My heart?.... shattered.  I turned around and there were a few eyes sneakily lookin' at me.  I didn't want to make it obvious.  I didn't want an eye to see my swollen eyes and scarlet nose.  I did it well and then it was back to normal.  I saw the eye, and utterly convincing that the heartless and sweety tart didn't give a sausage at all.   That's the moment I truly believed that, they only give a shit to their own people.  I exploded as soon as I got in the car.  I looked at the window and sobbed my heart out.  He was flabbergasted and thought that they were taking the piss out of me.  I spat it out to him and lent me a shoulder to cry on.  People say seeing your own tiny flesh and blood will make you feel at ease after a long knackered day, but I often look forward to see his face and sink into his coodle either a hard or good day.... I was still holding tightly onto his arms and staring cluelessly right to nuthin' and thinkin' that my joy to work has crumbled coz  I've lost a friend,  a person with a bit of comic relief and on top of that a pair of ears that always bare with a once-in-a-while squinny winny like me.  I hope she's gonna be alright and I wish her the best of luck that she always asks for.  You'll be remembered, you will! Then I got a text later in the evening from her:                            You are the most fantastic person I have met.                            Your kind, caring, loving, thoughtful, so many things.                             I have been so lucky to have had you in my life                             as a friend.I hope we can stay in touch.  Thank you                             for all your kindness and honest talks.See you soon.                             I'm always here.


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